The Proust Questionaire

My friend Kelley is one of the most creative and inspiring people I know.  She is the creative director over at majestic disorder, and as I was perusing her website, the Proust questionaire she has posted kind of inspired me.  So I decided to do it. 

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
 Perfect happiness is that level of self actualization that we probably never achieve, but we are always striving for.  Never achieving it is not bad, it keeps us going and working, striving for more.

What is your most marked characteristic?
 I tend to be quite honest about things.  I am honest when I do like something, when I don't like something, and when I really don't care.  People just don't usually believe me when I say I don't care due to my strong and honest opinions about certain other things.

What is your greatest extravagance?
 Travelling is probably my greatest extravagance (although I don't necessarily travel in extravagant ways).  I love the excitement and novel adventures new places have to offer, so I try to go everywhere I get the opportunity to.

What is your greatest inspiration?
My greatest inspiration is the world around me.  All of the colors, imperfections, songs, people, food, and faults of the world give me inspiration by making me want to be part of it.


What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being who I am today is by far my greatest achievement.  Granted, most 25 year olds have steady jobs, steady boyfriends, and all around steady lives, but considering where I came from, what I have been through, and what I have done, the person I have become is my greatest achievement to date.


Which words or phrases do you most overuse? 
I use "yeah" way to much.  And I say "sure" when I am discussing things with people, and I want to give them a "yes" answer, but I still want a way out.  It's the debater in me.



Who are your favorite writers?
I get lost in Henry Miller's writing constantly, and I am absolutely in love with Pablo Neruda's poetry.  I also really appreciate the beauty of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's writing.  Even if you don't like the stories he tells, you have to love the way he tells them.


What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
When I was younger, I did a lot of things I didn't really want to do because I thought I had to.  Out of sense of duty or obligation or for whatever reason.   But that is what I regard as misery.  I no longer do things I don't want to do "con pasión."  Everything I do, I chose to do because I want to do it "con pasion."


What is your favorite journey?
I honestly believe everything in life is a journey, and so far,  it's working out ok.  Even the parts that I complain about and say I wish didn't happen, I ultimately appreciate because everything is part of a larger journey for us all.


What is your greatest fear?
By far, my greatest fear is failure.  In fact, I am so afraid of it, I don't do certain things if I think there is a possibility I might fail.


What is the quality you most like in a woman?
 An honest smile, a big heart, and ready for adventures.


What is the quality you most like in a man?
An honest smile, a big heart, and ready for adventures.


When and where were you happiest?
My first reaction is summer 2010/2011 in Santiago, sitting on the balcony of my apartment having beers with friends.  Or sitting under the shade tree at Peace Matunda last May-July having coffee with Jackie and Bellasix.  Simple bliss.


Where would you like to live?
If I could still be living in Santiago right now, I would be a happy girl.  I was not nearly ready to leave when I did.  Ultimately, I think I would like to live in any place that is new.  I love the challenge of finding a pharmacy for a wrap for your foot that has a massive blister on it and you can barely walk.  Or tying to bake cookies but the store doesn't have brown sugar.  I like to live places where I don't simply live, but I also learn along the way.


If you could choose to come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
I think it might be interesting to come back as a more "traditional" person: married parents, 4 normal years at a university, boyfriends and internships.


What is your most treasured possession?
 My books hold a tremendous value to me for several reasons, and I have always treasured my books.  Even as a child, my mom always said I could part with a lot of things, but I couldn't part with my books.  My books might have a new contender with my new camera though. And I also really like my passport.  It takes me places.

On what occasion do you lie?
Straight up, I try to never lie.  It gets you nowhere, and 98% of the time, more of a hassle than it is worth.


What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
It's 2012.  Nobody even knows what virtues are, let alone gives any of them ratings.  However, in terms of what virtues I think are just silly, I would have to say temperance (I say this as I am drinking a beer) and chastity.  Sometimes, you just have to go balls to the wall and let temperance go.  And if there are two consenting people, I don't think chastity really matters either.  Chastity has no effect on other people, so I don't think it should really be considered a virtue.


What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I don't love.  I'm not that kind of girl.


What is your motto?
Go for it.  Because ultimately, the world isn't that big.  (Which is admittedly rather ironic considering my biggest fear is failure...)


What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Ugly behaviour.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My inability to accept love and acceptance from others is deplorable along with my complete lack of self-confidence.


I hope you have enjoyed peeking into my soul in a way inspired by Kelley at majestic disorder via questions provided by Marcel Proust. 

Peace and Love

Made In USA 1987

I would like to first tell the story concerning the title of this blog entry.  I wanted it to be a play on the tattoo Ricky Stanzi (the Iowa Hawkeye quarterback) even though pretty much anyone that will read this blog would not get it.  I thought it was a good way to title the theme of the blog, so I went for it.  The tattoo is on his back and says Made In USA and underneath 1987. I was also made in the USA in 1987.  (Ok, actually, it was 1986, but I was born in 1987, so whatever.)  Anyway, I googled "americanzni" thinking something about his tattoo would come up because both "Americanzi" and his tattoo are linked to his absurd patriotism.  Google thought I was confused and thought I meant American, so the first 5 sites or so were American Airlines, Anglo Americans in Chile, and things like that.  When I finally got down to the hits I was really looking for I found Black Heart, Gold Pants, I knew they had a picture, and I found what I wanted (and then got distracted reading random postings).  I just thought it was a funny story of how Google is silly (American Airlines) and creepy (Anglo Americans in Chile).

You might remember this shirt from the 9/11 Patriotic Party

So, I was made in America, and I have been lucky enough to hold on to my citizenship.  I also hold a US passport, which I have a nice cover for.  The cover not only protects it from getting beat up in my travels, but it also hides the front that says United States of America on it.  I don't like having the United States of America readily visible because I think it could allow for people to hassle me.  There have only been a couple of times I have gotten any grief for being American (we won't even mention the death threat in Glasgow... that was a whole new level of grief), but I don't like the idea that people can see where I am from and make quick judgments about me.  I also don't like when they ask me to sing Yankee Doodle and when I refuse, they go ahead and sing for me.

The judgments that get made and the questions that get asked are almost always concerning American foreign policy.  What is frustrating is when people ask why the US enacts certain policies.  I cannot answer all of those questions.  I have no clue why we invaded Iraq; I straight up have no clue.  I understand wanting to have an open conversation about policy, but I don't like the assumption that I agree with all of the policies of the US.  Spend 5 minutes with me and you will discover I can be critical of US policy.

This is not to say I don't love being an American.  I understand the privlige that comes with being an American and holding a US passport.  First of all, I am allowed to live comfortably in one of the richest nations in the world.  I can participate in open discourse and vote in elections.  I don't fear for my life and I don't wonder where my next meal is coming from.  I live under a stable government that provides me with adequate education and roads to drive on.  I am free to travel anywhere in the country, and I do not have to worry about clean water.  I do not have to worry about polio, malaria, or typhoid.  I understand this list goes on forever, and I realize how lucky I am to live in the US. 

Beyond just living in the US, holding a US passport also opens doors.  I can go pretty much anywhere I want in the world without much hassle (at the border, not necessarily from the citizens).  I might have to pay a reciprocity fee.  (I paid one when I got here.  I understand they charge US citizens because we charge them, but I don't think either country should have the fee, especially considering there is a free trade agreement.)  I might need to apply for a visa or some other minor inconvenience, but I am not restricted from going pretty much anywhere I want (with the exception of North Korea and Cuba, and even Cuba is easy to get to.)  I really am thankful for that.

I always have been.  However, I don't think it really hit me until I was telling Clea why I like to keep a cover on my passport.  The converstation moved to how US citizens are able to go wherever they want without much trouble.  She looked at my passport and said, "You're really lucky." 

I understand and am greatful for the benefits of being an American.  I also understand that sometimes I act like a spoiled American- like when I get annoyed that I have to turn on the califone to take a hot shower or when I look at the open flame on the propane heater and think how dangerous it is.  But I don't think my "American-ness" extends to the point that it should stop people from liking me just because I am American.  Please don't look at my passport and pass judgment- at least get to know me a little before you decide to hate me.  Or preferably, just don't hate me.

Peace and love from a grateful American.