Wednesday, November 2, 2011

We Aren't Going to be Friends Anymore

Back when I was looking for TEFL jobs and finishing up my certification, I was spending a lot of time upstairs with (who I consider to be) my good friend, Travis.  We hadn't been good friends for a long time, despite the fact that we both been involved in debate for several years.  This being said, our friendship was young and fragile, but I kind of enjoyed being friends with him.  I assume he kind of liked me being his friend as well.

Does this not look like a friendship that will last?

And then I started looking for jobs teaching English abroad, and when I found out I actually got a job, Travis told me we wouldn't be friends anymore.  His reasoning was simple: Friendship is dependent on convenience and therefore, proximity.  Being 5,000 miles apart would not be conducive to furthering our friendship because I would just be too far away.  My love of Latin America ended up winning out over my love of Travis, and off I went.  And our friendship lasted.

But I have thought a lot about this since Travis told me we wouldn't be friends anymore.

First of all, I think a lot of the friends I made while in South America and Africa were made for the exact reason that Travis said we wouldn't be friends anymore: convenience and proximity.  I obviously wouldn't have made these friends if I had gone somewhere else.  And I was probably initially friends with most of these people only because we were living in the same area and didn't know another living soul (or at least, we didn't know very many other living souls).  This is not to say that I didn't appreciate these friendships.  Just that the initial connection with these people was thanks to convenience. 

Which brings me to why I daily think about what Travis said to me: I have been terrible at keeping up with my friends.  I have find it increasingly difficult to stay caught up with what and how my friends are doing.  And time zones makes this even more difficult.  Being so far apart means that every aspect of our lives are different, which means either 1. The level of commonality between my friends and I has dropped significantly, 2. A shit ton of explanation is needed for any life events, or 3. A combination of 1 and 2.  I think it's the latter.

On a more lighthearted and fun note, I get to go visit one of these friends!  Luckily, she only lives in Chicago, which makes the proximity issue much more manageable.  It should be a blast and then some.

I miss all of my friends from all over the world.  Well, I guess only 5 continents, but close enough to all over the world.  I hope I get to see you all again soon!  Reunions need to happen.

Peace and Love